I have no where else to share this so I won't be offended if you move on.
The last couple of days, well from around 2pm yesterday, so its 1 day really, those dark clouds have rolled in like they always do at Christmas. The voices are saying die, die, that's what you want do, you know it is, and they won't go away, the last time I listened to the voice I left my mum so distressed she went down hill so quickly and never recovered, my Dad hardly speaks to me properly and Billybread doesn't really trust me anymore.
Don't get me wrong I would love die, I don't want to live, everyday is a struggle, but I made a promise and I can't break it, but nobody understands what it is like waking, if you have managed to shut out the voices, every morning, wishing you hadn't, wishing that the night would take me.
Those who don't understand what it is like to be in this place where I live everyday will think to themselves that I am seeking attention, but I'm not, that is the last thing I want or need.